Attack of the Cheesy Sex Scene

Writing sex scenes… I’m not good at it. In my second book, Heartless (also second in the Ruthless series), I put my all into describing a somewhat surprising, yet passionate encounter between the protagonist, Ruth and another character. When I read it back, I found I’d written one single page of flimsy fornication. So I knuckled down, quashed the thought that had been circling in my head (All your friends and family are going to read this) and wrung out another half page. Not only was my ‘coitus chronicle’ short, it also sounded so… Cheesy! In the end, I vowed to never to re-read it again and moved on like it had never happened.

Now in the midst of the third and final instalment of the Ruthless Series, Soulless, I find myself limping through another scene of passion (I hope this is enticing you to start reading – even cheesy sex sells right?). Let me SHOW you what I’m talking about here:

Fever rose in Ruth’s stomach. The cool air of the night was suddenly undetectable. Her skin burned, fuelled by hot blood. It was as though Ruth was back in the depths of Hell, but she wasn’t, she was in heaven.

See? That is cheesier than a pub parmigiana. So, what can I do about it? Well, I propose that YOU write my sex scene for me. That way I can tell my nanna, with all honesty, that I didn’t write that page turning filth. I’m sure anyone could do a better job than me. If you are interested, let me know. I’m completely serious.


The chapter that busts your metaphorical balls

As a writer you are bound to eventually produce a chapter, paragraph or even just a simple sentence that doesn’t sit well with you. You won’t be able to put your finger on exactly what is wrong with it, but it will be like nails on a chalkboard to read.

These diction ditches can be quite damaging to one’s inspiration and motivation to write. I recently found myself avoiding my third manuscript because I’d already spent two sessions the previous week tweaking a troublesome chapter, and I couldn’t stomach facing it again (I knew it still wasn’t right). After a day off, I talked myself into tackling it, but this time once and for all. Instead of trying to salvage all the hard work I’d put into the chapter to date, I deleted it. I just plain removed it from my manuscript and started again. It was the best decision I’d ever made. In one session, I’d rewritten the chapter and set up the next. I also had my inspiration back and I was keen to move the story forward.

So if you find your metaphorical writing-balls in a vice over pesky phraseology and consequently you are spending all your precious time trying to fix it (with little or no results), consider throwing it out the window. Sometime that is much easier than trying to make it work. You’ll get over the time lost once you re-read your awesome new chapter 🙂


The Blood-sucking Author

There is a brand of Author (most often of the indie flavour) that peddles their wares in a somewhat dishonest way. I’m not talking about selling their books for more than they are worth, I’m talking about fooling people into attending seminars under the guise of a “writers workshop” when in fact they are purely sales and marketing opportunities. Subconscious sales are hidden underneath “You can be a successful author just like me!” propaganda, which is eaten up despite the glaringly awkward fact that the “successful author” is spending their weekend talking to a bunch of 50 year old women in a local recreation centre.

They warm the crowd with promise of riches and fame, despite having little or none of it themselves.  They tell the wannabe writers what they want to hear but offer no practical instruction or advice outside of what any idiot could figure out themselves. At the end of the “workshop” they’ve made 20 new fans who decide to spend another $20 on a writer’s self-help guide to actually finishing a book.

The truth is, anyone can write a book, but successfully marketing or selling one is very difficult. Success can elude the most talented authors – if no one reads it, who will know it is great? Telling people otherwise is cruel and wrong. It provides false hope and makes people focus on the wrong elements of writing. You may say “well at least it may motivate writers to finish their work” and you may be right, but that will only last until their sales inevitably fall short of J.K Rowling’s records. Then they will feel disappointed and worthless, when they should feel proud and hopeful.

I am often asked to provide advice to friends of friends or people I meet who know I have written books. I am always happy to help and relay my experiences and lessons learned through my writing journey. But I am always brutally honest. I tell people to write before they worry about attending writing workshops. Focus on creating and producing instead of marketing and making things perfect. You will have an opportunity to build your brand once you HAVE a brand, but if you haven’t actually written or published anything yet, don’t bother.

If you would like to talk to me about writing games or books, don’t hesitate to drop me a line.   My advice is free and devoid of “self-promoting strings”.


Soulless – The Rapture

I’m about half way through the final instalment in the Ruthless trilogy, Soulless. For a while there, I was rebelling against finishing the series and consequently didn’t do much writing over a number of months. However, over the last few weeks I have picked up again and I am LOVING smashing out this supernatural story. I can assure you it is full of twists and turns that will keep you guessing, like its sisters – Ruthless and Heartless. For those of you who like a good Zombie read, here is a snippet from the middle. I hope you enjoy and it inspires you to grab a copy of Ruthless and Heartless so you can see where it all began!


They rode on through the streets in silence until they came to a grassy hill surrounded by a very old, low cobblestone wall. As the hellhound leapt over the top, landing on the scattered daisy patch on the other side, dark clouds began to form in a swirling whirlpool in the sky. They padded up the hill until Ruth could see the view on the other side. Rows and rows of grave stones.

“New recruitsssss,” the demon Kelvin hissed over his shoulder before slapping the reins against his beast’s back.

The hellhound began threading its way through the graves and with each step, the ground shifted and shuffled. Ruth swivelled to look behind them. Only a few feet away, a mottled, grey fist smashed free of the guttered ground. And then another and another. The clouds above crackled and flared with lightening, momentarily bathing the graveyard in silver light before a rumble of thunder darkened the gravestones once more. Ruth’s heart pounded in her chest. She gripped the beast’s fur tighter in her fists. At the bottom of the hill, the graveyard fanned out into wide flat field. Thousands of headstones stretched out evenly in front of them like marble soldiers. Ruth cringed.

These once good people will rise and terrify their loved ones. There is no trace of their soul left to appeal to, just rotting skin and bones reanimated to do the devil’s work.

Guttural moans rose up behind them. This time Kelvin pulled the reins and turned his animal so that he and Ruth had a full view of the crater-covered hill. Stones lay upturned, flowers and trinkets were strewn and trampled. Decaying bodies staggered down the slope towards them, gnashing their toothless gums and stretching out their curly nailed fingers.

“They will follow us and attack the library on my command,” Kelvin reported over his shoulder.

“They will slow us down and Stratus will see them coming a mile away. God already suspects we will attack the library. We need to take her and her angels by surprise.”

Kelvin snorted and turned the hound again. Sensing his ambivalence, Ruth continued-

“Let’s carry on to the library without them. We can camp out tonight and plot our attack for the morning. If they walk all night, they will arrive tomorrow and supply us with good cover while we slip inside the library unseen.”

Kelvin’s response was to dig his bare, horned heels into the beast. They launched forward, bounding swiftly through the sea of gravestones until they reached the other side of the cemetery, cleared the wall and continued down the desolate street. Ruth tried not to show her relief. Gritting her teeth she stared over Kelvin’s blistered shoulder at the carnage ahead.

The risen-dead have no currency. They have no soul save. I can’t have them ruin my plan.


Digital Sabbath, Detox and Rehab

I love travelling around the world. I love spending more time outside, seeing new things and meeting new people on my travels. Something else I love, although it always takes me a few days to realise it, is leaving my daily digital habits at home. I admit, I take devices with me when I travel – usually an iPad (for movies on the plane) and my phone – but I use them much less than I would if I were pacing around in my normal life at home. Why? My theory is – a fantastic lack of boredom combined with an enforced break in my routine.

Our extreme use of mobile devices (as compared with not so long ago) may have developed out of convenience but has grown into a habit. Let’s face it, if most people have a spare minute of idol time, they will use it on a device – check their emails, social media, text messages, play a game, chat, watch a video, listen to a pod cast, read a story, look something or somebody up… The list goes on. While our society celebrates “how far we’ve come”, it often fails to acknowledge and discuss the pitfalls of this technology age. All of this opportunity and choice at our fingertips takes up a mountain of mental space, in-between what we are are already processing and dealing with in our physical environment. Our beloved devices  can often make us feel like there is so much more to do, because it is so simple and easy to do it.

Using idol time to complete another task in your day may feel like a win, but it can come at a cost. What else could you have done with that time? Thought about a loved one, looked out the window and admired the weather, remembered a joke that made you smile, reflected on your behaviour during the day? If we stop doing those things because we use every spare moment to engage with a device, I believe we will be losing a big important part of ourselves.

Here is an enlightening yet scary comment from The Sabbath Manifesto (link below) :

I recently had a guy fix my laptop. He (Joe) has a small PC fix-it business near my town in Western Massachusetts. Joe is from Ghana. I was asking him about life there. He said, “People are connected to each other there. Here, people are connected to machines.”

When I travel, I spend a lot of time thinking. I have plenty of idol time but I’m not bored. I genuinely feel enriched and more at peace after taking in and reflecting on experiences that are right in front of me – not on my phone. So here is my challenge – to use my devices more sparingly in day to day life (let’s call it a detox). If boredom coaxes me to pick up that phone, I won’t listen, but I won’t ignore it. I’ll revel in my boredom. I’ll remember what it feels like so that I can really appreciate those moments when I am truly engaged in life.

Some interesting reads on digital disconnect programs, ideas and options are below. Take a read and disconnect to reconnect.

Square Heroes Review

I lost a couple of hours this weekend to a quirky, fantastically fun game of Square Heroes. I must admit, what lured me to purchase the game on Steam was a completely egotistical desire to see the new character names and dialogue I had created, but what kept me playing (between social and domestic obligations) was the kick-ass kills and phat loots!

There is something extremely satisfying about beating a monster with a rubber chicken whilst wearing a tiara. Choosing the right weapon and approach for each type of battle (Gnome Hunt, Team Death match etc.) becomes more important and fun as the game progresses. Don’t get too trigger happy with the big hitters though, as you are likely to annihilate yourself (along with your foes) in a feat of superb suicidal splendour.

I’m looking forward to further improving my skillz, playing the single-player tournament, while convincing my friends to get on-board!

Square Heroes Release

Check out the latest release of Square Heroes – an AWESOME little arena shooter featuring Online, LAN, Co-op and local multi-player gameplay. I was lucky enough to write the in-game dialogue for this comical, yet addictive game so keep an eye out for my name in the credits!

Square Heroes Games Writer


Writing for Games

If you don’t put yourself out there, you can miss out on some amazing opportunities. I recently landed a fantastic writing gig by simply asking a small games company, who does your writing? The answer was, we are looking for a writer right now actually. Bingo!

I love gaming and I love writing and now an opportunity to combine both passions was dangling in front of me. Since I didn’t have any games writing experience to speak of, I offered to write some short bios for the foe AI in their latest game. They agreed that would be useful so I created some cheesy character histories based on a provided comic strip. To my delight, my contact reported that the bios were just the kind of thing they were looking for and that they, would like me to re-write the dialogue used in the game! Double Bingo!

I spent my recent holiday writing up the dialogue to describe each level objective while also moving the underlying game story along. I really enjoyed the process and certainly didn’t expect any mula for my efforts, but after handing in my work, I was offered some $$ AND my name in the credits. Wooot! I can’t wait for the new game release so I can see my character names, attitudes and dialogues in action.

game characters

How do you finish writing a book?

A question that many writers ask themselves. I’m not going to lie, it is tough but it is also totally achievable. Last weekend, a good friend of mine asked me to read the first three chapters of her new book. She has never written a book or even a short story before so I was extremely impressed when I was carried away by her story.

Once I’d convinced her that she had talent (in my opinion anyway), she asked how I had managed to produce two books while working 9 til 5 in a completely different industry. Here is the advice I gave her:

Schedule your writing time (after work or on the weekend) and stick to it. I always write on Saturdays and unless I’m sick, hung over or on holiday, I ALWAYS write on Saturdays.

Choose a place to write that inspires you. I cannot be at home or else I want to do the dishes or put out the washing. I go to a local cafe and buy myself breakfast as a reward for my hard work.

Chip away at it. Don’t think about how much or little you have written, just keep writing. Before you know it you’ll have a first draft.

Don’t sweat the details. If you can’t think of the word you want to use or you are unsure of the correct grammar, then type ??? and come back to it later. You will have plenty of time to edit the story at the end. Just get to the end first!

I’m looking forward to reading the rest of my friend’s story later this year. I hope these tips inspire you to complete that half finished tale that you know has promise.

A recipe for an epiphany

Since my worldly travels have ended, I’ve been somewhat void of life-altering inspiration. Unsurprisingly, sitting at my desk working from 9 until 5 hasn’t facilitated any mind-blowing revelations. However, recently I pieced together a magic combination of events/activities that got my brain tingling. I now realise, I’d prepared the ingredients, but I hadn’t thought to pop them in a baking dish and throw them in the oven.

Recipe for an Epiphany

1. Travel Somewhere : 1-6 Months. The more remote and out of your comfort zone the better.

2. Reflect and Relax : Minimum 1 month. While you travel, look at yourself, your thoughts and your behaviours. How are you different now you are not stuck in the daily grind?

3. Return Home : Try to assimilate again. If you have done step 1 and 2 correctly, this will be a difficult task. This is important so you can truly appreciate the difference between your travel life and your ‘home’ life.

4. Watch documentaries about people, the universe and science. Watch TED videos like these:

5. Share your thoughts : Find content that you think is interesting and controversial. Send a link to a friend who you know will disagree.

6. Debate : Have a good-ol fashioned debate with your friend/s. Let simmer until your mind is bubbling and hissing with ideas.

7. Repeat